Copenhagen Post x Mirjana: ‘Don’t make any big decisions right away’: A therapist’s advice for internationals facing layoffs in Denmark

Copenhagen psychotherapist Mirjana Gavric explains why layoffs trigger survival mode, hit international workers especially hard and what helps people regain calm and control over life.

A layoff can set off a physical stress response, disturb sleep and make clear thinking harder. For international workers, it can also raise questions about visas and whether their family can remain in Denmark.

Mirjana Gavric, a psychotherapist from Bosnia who offers therapy in English in Copenhagen, said these reactions can be intense without being signs of a mental health disorder.

“This is not something that people should pathologize,” Gavric said, explaining: “It is real survival mode, and it’s a really stressful event.”

A layoff can trigger survival mode

People can usually manage the ordinary stresses of daily life, Gavric said. A layoff is different because it can arrive without warning and threaten a person’s sense of safety.

The nervous system may respond with fight, flight or freeze – reactions that are automatic. A person may send applications late into the night, become angry or distant, or appear frozen while mentally running through questions about money, family and self-worth.

Stress can also make planning harder. Gavric said emotional overload can reduce a person’s ability to organize information and calmly work through a problem.

“As long as this one of these reactions is very high, we cannot plan, organize in a very logical way,” she said, adding: “So it’s like we have brain fog. It’s hard to make calm, smart decisions.”

International workers face added threats

The same nervous system response can be stronger for internationals

because many are far from family, old friends and familiar institutions.Some do not speak the Danish or have the same access to public systems as other residents.

Employment may also be tied to the right to stay in Denmark. If a partner does not have stable work, one layoff can put the plans of an entire household in doubt.

“It could be like a question of life and death because some of my clients had to pack their families and go back home,” Gavric said. “It is not just how the emotions are developing in the process, but it’s also logistically and financially a matter of how the whole family’s future will look.”

Culture can shape the response, too. Gavric said people from cultures where relatives regularly care for one another may feel an extra loss when that community is far away.

What people worry about

The first questions are often practical: How long can I stay? What happens to our finances? Do we have to move? What will happen to my partner or children? At the same time, people may treat a company decision as a judgment of their personal value. They may ask what they did wrong, whether they deserved it or whether they were good enough.

“For the company, it could be budget, planning, reorganizing. It could be nothing personal,” Gavric said.

“But for the person who got the layoff in a different context, it is really

personal.”

She advises separating the event from the person’s worth. Losing a position says nothing by itself about how good someone is at their work or how colleagues saw them.

Changes friends and family may notice

People under severe stress do not always recognize how much their behavior has changed. Friends and relatives may see it first. “The main rule is they’re different than they were,” Gavric said.

A usually quiet person may suddenly become constantly active, meeting people, sending applications and sleeping very little. A normally outgoing person may withdraw, sleep much more, stop going out or lose interest in usual activities.

Other warning signs include poor eating, continuing sleep problems and unclear thinking. Professional support may help when fear or shame becomes overwhelming, daily life gets harder, the person withdraws or conflict at home grows.

Shame can make isolation worse. A person may avoid friends because they do not want to explain what happened. Gavric said connection is especially important for international workers, who may already have a smaller support network nearby.

What to do after a layoff

Gavric’s first advice is to avoid major decisions while the initial shock is at its strongest. Taking a few days, reconnecting with family or friends and restoring basic routines can help the body settle before detailed planning begins.

“When we notice that our nervous system is overwhelmed, don’t make any big decisions,” she said, adding:

“Make sure that you are not in a survival mode or fight, flight, freeze mode before you or your family make any big decisions.”

International workers may still need accurate information about residence status and finances. Gavric recommends separating immediate tasks from questions that can wait, and setting limits on job searching instead of applying continuously out of panic.

She also tells people to remember what helped them through difficult periods before. That could be friends, family, prayer, music or another source of support. “Reach out, connect, share the issue, and you are not the issue,” Gavric said.

“Sometimes it’s help to write the CV. Sometimes it’s a friend that will listen to you. Sometimes it’s psychotherapy, a place where we can look at it, support it and guide you through the process.”

If you are going through a layoff or another period of uncertainty and would like to explore whether therapy could support you, you can book a free intro call with Growth Oasis. It is an opportunity to talk about what you are experiencing, ask questions and get a sense of whether therapy feels like the next step for you. 🌿